Random Thoughts Stream of blah blah blah

I don't know who reads my blog. I don't really care....I mean...I put it out there...but it's really more for me to get some of this stuff out of my head; off my chest; away from my heart. I hope that you enjoy it, though. Sometimes it's good...sometimes...eh. Not so much.

Today I am feeling - IN THE MIDDLE. I feel a little caught in the middle of several situations - none which need discussing in an open forum such as this. I feel in the middle of these crazy highest highs and these lowest lows....just all averaged out to this mmmmmmmiddle. Right mmmmmmmmmmidddle -here -mmmmmmmmmmmmmidddleeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I feel I'm in the middle of my career, too. For example: I worked some pretty random jobs before I got my degree - public library, the mall, insurance company, grocery store (I actually liked the grocery store - hahahah), Crystal's Pizza. Then I got my nursing degree and am a nurse. I've been nursing for 12 years. I feel like I'm in the middle of working. Like - I am ready to start that other chapter of work. God only knows what it'll be. I think I am done with the nursing though. BURNED OUT my friends. BURNED OUT. Crisp. Black. Finished. The End. The thought of continuing makes me physically ill...nauseated. That can't be healthy. Stress--> increased cortisol levels ---> increased risk for heart attack, decreased sleep, increased anxiety, increased weight gain....ALL BAD! DUDE! My job is making me chubby! LOL!

I have lots of things I want to do with my life. Things I want to try. Life is soooo short. I don't want any regrets...or no big ones, anyway. Who wants to be old and think "What if??" all the time. Not me. I am so glad I learned this lesson earlier rather than later.

I wonder if my friends think the same way? G likes what he does. His job is so different than everyone else's. He's pretty fortunate. And the exception, I know. I tell my sisters to try to find something they love to do, because going to work everyday to something you love is much better than something you hate. Why can't I do the same thing? Why am I NOT doing the same thing???? Doesn't make sense I can't follow my own sound advice. I'm advice-tarded.

Right now I also feel a little bit lied to....a little jealous...a little frustrated...a little sad...a little left in the dark...a little apprehensive...a little nervous....a lot hopeful...a tad tired...a bit secretive....a bit destructive....a bit creative...a tiny bit energetic...mostly forgetful...and strangely enough, wanting a beer.

I am concerned about a couple of people, too right now. I love my friends. I really, really do. It is good to choose your friends wisely. :) AND, to keep your friends close....and your enemies closer. MUCH closer. Hmmmm.....

This weekend Laura and Stephen will be here in the ATX. I can't wait to see them. I didn't get enough time with them in AbTx. It will be good times. :)

I have to go do some laundry now that the electricity is back on. Don't know what happened, but there were a lot of sirens after it went out. And it was hot as balls in here. All better now.

Hasta luego~
Betty O