Which one of you is peeing on the upstairs bathmat and shower curtain? I just changed out your litter boxes. So fresh and so clean clean. The bathroom upstairs is for HUMANS. YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. And you might think you are. I'll give you that. But if you THINK you are human...USE THE FUCKING TOILET.
Which one of you has hidden all my black bras. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.....when I find you...I will take you to the vet for a shot. I swear to god I will.
Which one of you coughed up that massive hairball I can't find? I heard you do it...it was disgusting...but I can't find it. Are you planning on showing it off next time we have company? You better not! I'll start making you wear costumes and then take your picture and post it on here for everyone to see.
Which one of you keeps scattering food ALL OVER THE KITCHEN??? You have three bowls. You have a mat to keep the overflow on. Your extra food is not a hockey puck. It's not a soccer ball. It's not a mouse. It's something I am not going to see until I've pulverized it with my foot or shoe. Stop doing this. Cease and desist. Immediately. Or no more treats. I mean it cats. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF! YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF THIS MORNING!
BAD PUSSY! BAD!!!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
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