Migraine

My doppelganger will know exactly what I mean. MY HEAD IS FREAKING KILLING ME!!!! RAIN ALREADY!!!! Right, Mrs. Darkholme? ;)

I started throwing up earlier from the headache. Rested; read; vomited; rested; took more meds for the pain. VOMIT. VOMIT. VOMIT. ugh. I'm glad they are only weather realted. Now that I'm off the Topomax, it doesn't seem to make a huge difference, which is good. I'm not getting them all the time like I used to. Just when the weather changes. I had a constant migraine for 4 months once. That sucked.

I love the cooler air, though. I made myself get out of bed and come sit outside to enjoy the nice weather while I can. I may puke in a second (hopefully not on my laptop) but I am going to enjoy a cooler day, dang it! And hopefully not get DVTs or decubitus ulcers from being in bed all day. LOL (a little nursing humor for my medical friends)

I'd like to snuggle right now. Just curl up against a warm body and go to sleep. It's the perfect day for that! Sugar Ray would be a good compromise, but I can't trust him not to pee everywhere, so he's out. :) Well, I am sure there are lots of people I can't trust not to pee everywhere, so.....I don't know that that's saying much. LOL Any offers will be considered.

I had to cancel therapy today due the vomiting/headache/light sensitivity. Hoping to reschedule sometime this week. I also go to the endocrinologist tomorrow to have them re-evaluate my thyroid meds. The hospital doc put me on 150 mcg.....up from 112 mcg. I think that may be too much. I mean, my TSH was 8.5, down from 7.3 or something before. When it was in the seven's, they only raised me from 110 mcg to 112 mcg. Even though I apparently DO need more thyroid hormone, I think 150 may be too much for me. I'm all sweaty and shaky and my hair is falling out again. Some palpitations. But not so hungry, surprisingly. I think that has more to do with my mood overpowering my physical needs. And if I had a semi-functioning thyroid, it would probably take up the slack. But since I have NO thyroid, I'm sort of SOL and dependent on the medication. I don't want to go into a thyroid storm or a myxedema coma. So.....we'll have to see what happens. I'm just so sensitive to meds. DANG IT.

One of my friends had his last day in DBT yesterday. When he first started, I was a little afraid of him....like he might really be CRAZY and not just having a hard time coping. But I see what a HUGE difference it made in him and it gives me hope. He is a completely different person now...so strong and confident. He is assertive and has lost his "poor pitiful me" attitude. And if anybody deserves to have that, it was him. I really am proud of him. He has a new girlfriend, his business is looking up and he has a new lease on life. I am so inspired! I will miss him in group, but I know we'll stay friends. He is a pretty awesome person once you get past the drama of his current/former issues. Poor guy. It has been really rough for him.

We have a new lady who won't ever STFU. She is also a big cry baby, so I am hoping the group makes it better for her like it did for my friend. That'd be really good for her. Everyone else is sort of like me....hard time coping with a crisis. Never really learned the skills needed to cope....just made due with what they had or saw. It's hard knowing that things could have been different if we knew how to cope better. Although, my therapist says she's amazed I am still alive and pretty competent considering all the issues I've had/have. Life is hard for everyone, though, so I don't think I'm anything special. Just a survivor, for what it's worth. Everyone fights their own battles....

Well, I guess I'll go take some more meds....maybe eat part of a tortilla if I can stomach it. Wish my headache away. And if we are wishing, wish my heartache away, too. And wish that I will become a better person b/c I'm pretty awesome right now, but I know I could be WAAAAAAY more awesome. :)

xoxo