Hey. Not too much going on. Had Meet The Teacher Night last night and it wore me the f out.. Taking my last weekend of summer break for some R and R. Worked all day long today and still didn't get it all done...but enough to start work on Monday. I hope! :)
I am doing ok right now. I've had better days and worse days, but I am so fortunate to have family and friends who love me and KNOW that I am worth the effort. That makes me happy. Although, it doesn't fill the void I have left in my heart. I know one day it will fade, but right now it's hard. It's always hard not to be wanted or loved...esp when YOU don't feel that way.
I've been through a lot worse shit, although it sure doesn't feel that way right now. It feels like the end of the world with no hope in sight. But I have to know from experience that I will make it through, because I AM a survivor....no matter the cost. And even if I don't make it...that's the way it's supposed to be. So I have a small amount of hope today. But just barely.
I know...WHOA IS ME! Pathetic. If one of my friends were telling me this I'd tell them to toughen the fuck up and get over it already. But I know it's not that easy and sometimes you have to turtle up and get it all back together...esp after an abusive relationship. So I'm turtling. And doing MY best. That's all anyone can ask of me. Because one person can only take so much heartache in one lifetime.
I am going to bed tonight...sleeping on a comfy couch with all the comforts of home and surrounded by love. What more could one ask for??? A boyfriend...someone to share my life with...happiness...etc. :)
Love you all.
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About Me
- Betty O Rocker
- I like music, art, tattoos, white beer, cats, baking, quilting, making stuff , organics, traveling, finding cool new things I want to try, and staying busy but not being required to do anything. I love alternative 80's music, monster ballads of rock, West Texas thunderstorms, a good cup of coffee, hanging out with my friends and family, good manners and dirty jokes. I like things neat and tidy, although they don't always end up that way.
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100 Things About Me 2010 UPDATED!
- 1. I still want to know more about YOU!
- 2. Tulips are my favorite flower.
- 3. I have a cat named Indie.
- 4. I like beans, but they don't like me.
- 5. I am always open to trying new things.
- 6. I now live in Cedar Park, Texas.
- 7. I am second oldest of 8 children.
- 8. I support the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
- 9. I am never happy with my weight.
- 10. I like to throw parties.
- 11. I have always wanted to know what I look like bald.
- 12. I don't like being hot. AT ALL.
- 13. I had braces as an adult.
- 14. I have never wanted to go in space.
- 15. I am still friends with people I knew in Jr. High and HS. I love them so much.
- 16. I grew up (for the most part) with my great-grandmother.
- 17. When I was little, my mom used to call me "Scruffy Louise".
- 18. I don't have my tonsils.
- 19. I'm allergic, really really allergic, to lillies.
- 20. I am growing a rosemary bush but it's half dead.
- 21. I have two other plants that are all still alive.
- 22. The other cats live with G. I think they are happier.
- 23. I love to travel.
- 24. I don't typically like other people's kids - OPKs.
- 25. I was never in a sorority.
- 26. I was in band and I was cool.
- 27. I have stacking dolls with fangs.
- 28. I have a lot of pictures to put up.-
- 29. I met Henry Rollins and he is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
- 30. You can't tell me where to stand!
- 31. I've been on a tour bus, too, so whatever.
- 32. I think you have to choose a camp - Star Wars or Star Trek.
- 33. I love Harry Potter.
- 34. I LOVE JULY 4th!!!
- 35. My HS mascot was the Eagle aka War Bird!
- 36. I HATE CHERRIES!
- 37. I love the smell of sandalwood and vanilla.
- 38. I am not your typical school nurse.
- 39. I officially closed my t-shirt company.
- 40. I don't really like watching movies.
- 41. I don't want to have a real job, but I need the insurance and the paycheck.
- 42. My favorite colors are: pink, red, and black.
- 43. I like things to be very neat and tidy.
- 44. I am allergic to a bizillion different foods and medications.
- 45. I can only remember three or four jokes.
- 46. Hamburgers are my favorite food.
- 47. I love, love, love pancakes.
- 48. I have been in a public bath in Budapest.
- 49. I finally got a Wii.
- 50. The rules do not apply to me.
- 51. Girls in Texas ARE the prettiest girls in the world!
- 52. I am afraid of heights.
- 53. I don't think most people discipline their children like they should.
- 54. In 8th grade, I won 3rd place in state (UIL) for a newspaper article I wrote.
- 55. I am a Public Notary, Private Process Server, Ordained, and a school nurse.
- 56. I FINALLY paid off my car!
- 57. I went to Washington, D.C. when I was in H.S. They let us roam the Capitol all by ourselves..the subway, Georgetown, whatever.
- 58. I got cut off on an airplane after one drink. Seriously? Yes.
- 59. I have a passport that FINALLY has some stamps in it!!!
- 60. I have a cousin who lives in Japan and I want to visit him there!
- 61. I have a cousin who lives in Prague and I visited her over the holidays.
- 62. I want to go to Ireland and see where my relatives lived.
- 63. I've never been on a cruise.
- 64. I want to visit Oregon.
- 65. I have seen a plane crash.
- 66. I like to sing, but I'm not very good.
- 67. I love to make lists.
- 68. I love to read!
- 69. I want to travel the world and be able to do it all from one backpack - Rick Steves style.
- 70. I don't like scary movies.
- 71. I quit smoking 3 or 4 years ago (I can't even remember how long ago it was) and don't miss it a bit.
- 72. I gave up drinking diet coke 3 years ago and haven't had one since. - I have had a few lately...but they taste funny.
- 73. I drink coffee. A lot.
- 74. I love going to the farmer's market.
- 75. I love music. It has always been a part of me.
- 76. I have lots of friends in bands.
- 77. I have a bass guitar that I can't play very well.
- 78. I support local business.
- 79. I love it when all the laundry is done AND put away.
- 80. I need a pedicure.
- 81. I like to send cards in the mail.
- 82. I have a bachelor's degree.
- 83. I'm afraid to ride my bike too fast downhill.
- 84. I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer when I was little.
- 85. I recycle almost everything.
- 86. I hate the way wooden spoons feel in my hand.
- 87. I try to eat whole, local and organic foods whenever possible.
- 88. I REALLY like fabrics.
- 89. I used to make my own Barbie clothes.
- 90. I love chocky.
- 91. I like to quilt.
- 92. I like genealogy.
- 93. I hate math.
- 94. I can play the flute.
- 95. I like to bake but hate to cook.
- 96. I don't like roller coasters.
- 97. I had the best NYE ever in Prague.
- 98. I have four sisters.
- 99. I have three brothers.
- 100. I took private art lessons as a child.
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